How to become a better ally to transgender people
Take five minutes out of your day to get knowledgeable and become a better ally to transgender people!
Becoming an ally means becoming informed and implementing changes to help make society a better and safer space for everyone. Being an ally does not mean giving preferential treatment, but being willing to stand up for those who are less privileged and exposed to discriminations and intolerances. The best way to show support is to act. This advice applies to everyone, regardless of gender identity and beyond decency, and can serve as a guide to support all peers and colleagues. Remember that it is okay to make mistakes, reflect, apologise and move on.
Some tips for being a good ally
- Accept that if someone tells you they are transgender, they are. The gender of a transgender person is not determined by their outward appearance.
- Remember that you don’t have to understand a person to respect them and their needs.
- Know that sexual orientation and gender identity are two completely different things. Avoid making assumptions about a transgender person’s sexual orientation.
- Make language more accessible by respecting and using the terminology people use to talk about themselves, whether it is labels (such as transgender, genderqueer or transsexual) or pronouns (such as he/she, she/he or they). If you don’t know what terms to use, you can ask.
- Respect people’s (chosen) names. Using a dead name (the name given to a person at birth but no longer used) is very damaging as it can be disabling and traumatic.
- Be aware that transgender people do not owe anyone any personal information about their background, genitalia, surgical status, sex life, etc. Would you want to share this information about yourself?
- Remember that there is no one way to transition. Some people may undergo medical procedures, others may not want to, and still others may not have the resources or health care to affirm their gender identity.
- Be careful about assumptions. Do not speculate about a person’s gender identity (or sexual orientation) and do not share this information with others.
- Be aware of privacy issues. Transgender people risk losing their jobs, housing, friends or family if their identity is revealed without the knowledge of others.
- Remember that gender exists on a spectrum and that it is alright to question and change one’s gender identity. Be patient with someone who is questioning or exploring their gender identity.
- Avoid inappropriate comments such as “I didn’t know you were transgender. You are so pretty”, “You look like a real man” or “Have you considered a voice coach?
- Set an inclusive tone in your work environment, for example by calling out anti-transgender remarks, using less sexist and more inclusive language and remaining open-minded.
- Don’t ask a transgender person to teach you, but instead learn about current issues and events by reading articles, watching videos or checking social media.
- Above all, listen to transgender people, take the initiative and keep the conversation going!
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